I wanted to be the one to tell them they were all wrong. I wanted to be the one who said that everyone else just didn’t get it. There were a number of people who thought that The Royal Tenenbaums was a step down from Rushmore, so I was hoping it was those same people who were less excited about The Life Aquatic.

But I am wrong. I am not that one. I didn’t get it. Rather, I’m not entirely sure there is anything in particular to get, beyond Anderson’s sense of humor, which I appreciate as much as any. The problem with The Life Aquatic is not that it wasn’t Andersonish enough, nor that it was too Andersonish - as some have claimed - but that it felt like a rough draft of an Anderson classic.

Murray’s Zissou character is well performed, as Murray always is, but Zissou is a weak imitation of Hackman’s Royal Tenenbaum. Zissou spends a good deal of time trying to come to terms with his long lost son, Ned (Owen Wilson), and, like Tenenbaum, trying to make something of a reconciliation. But Zissou is neither as perverse nor as sincere as Tenenbaum, and frankly less funny.

The Life Aquatic’s comparison to The Royal Tenenbaums is perhaps best summed up with an early scene which featured Zissou, after he had discovered the appearance of his son and we walks and smokes to a crescendoing “Life on Mars” by Bowie. The scene, in comparison to an early Royal Tenenbaums scene wherein a bird flies to the Beatles’ “Hey Jude,” is significantly weaker. “Hey Jude” built up to a series of disasters in the Tenenbaum household and climaxed with an ironic grace that set the tone for the rest of the film. The “Life on Mars” scene began rather abruptly and then ended quite abruptly. There is, obviously, humor in the brief, contemplative aside, but it feels quite forced. And Anderson-humor doesn’t work when its forced. As such, the “Life on Mars” scene also sets the tone for the rest of the film.

The story, as a whole, reflects this weakness. Steve Zissou is an oceanographer who creates a documentary of sorts about his explorations. After his friend is eaten by the mythical Jaguar Shark, he sets out to document his revenge against the beast. The journey is complicated by the arrival of his possible son, a pregnant journalist (Cate Blanchett), disagreements with his wife (Angelica Houston), a rival research team led by Jeff Goldblum, and a band of pirates. On a narrative line, The Life Aquatic almost began to feel more like a Coen brothers film.

Many have said that The Life Aquatic is just too quirky. It’s really not any more so than The Royal Tenenbaums. It’s just that the quirkiness lacks the same depth of humor. The story, likewise, lacks the same emotional resonance. While Tenenbaum’s every minute was filled with outward laughter and inner tears, The Life Aquatic brings out little more than inner laughter and tired drama. It says something about the film that when a major character dies near the end, it provokes little sentiment of any kind.

There were things I liked. I love Klaus (Willem Dafoe), the slightly slow but enthusiastic German assistant. I love the Brazilian guy who keeps singing Portuguese translations of Bowie songs. The CG sea-animal life is also highly appropriate for an Anderson film of this nature. Overall, it’s to Anderson’s credit that the worst film he could possibly make is still a fairly good time.

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