I’m tired of this kind of crap. There really is nothing particularly interesting about watching a bunch of superficial, self-absorbed people whirl around as they flush their lives down the toilet. Make the characters ugly, and Closer is little more than an episode of Jerry Springer.

It’s a passible experience though, due to top notch acting on the part of all and strong, clever dialogue. Though I disdain its every moment, Closer is actually one of the most well written films of the year. Mike Nichols’ direction and tight editing make Closer a fine production overall.

But there’s a problem. I don’t think Closer achieves what it thinks it is achieving. The script includes tightly woven themes of acquaintance and honesty, such that a thematic summary of the film could be something like, “four strangers meet, and though they become very close, ultimately remain strangers to each other because they are never honest with each other.”

Perhaps. And maybe there’s something we can learn from it. The underlying problem is that, not only are they being dishonest with each other, they’re all dishonest with themselves. And that, more important, aspect is never presented well enough to allow us to empathize with the characters.

In addition, there’s little value to be gained from a story whose basic message is, “if you’re a selfish jerk, you will be sad.” We can just watch Jerry Springer to find that out.